The Hatted One

I have been trying to do a deal with my neighbour, a small Mwarusha man. He has a long thin piece of land that extends into my plot and is bound by it on three sides and I am suggesting a ‘like for like’ swap to make two blocks of land, both of which would be more easily managed and more saleable. As always we spoke in Kiswahili.



I met him this morning down by my fence. After harvest our neighbours, and especially this particular one, just let their animals roam anywhere eating the leftovers. The problem is that I am trying to preserve the stover for a mulch cover to increase soil water retention and fertility. His goats, sheep and cows are hungry and have other ideas when they see all this fodder lying around after harvest.

I asked if he had spoken with the rest of the boma. He said that he had taken my message to them and that the young men had refused my idea but had another idea. They want me to buy a small piece of their plot, about 20 paces long, for 5 million shillings - almost ten times the going rate! I reminded him that I had said categorically there would be no exchange of money. I don’t have any and the deal is already mutually beneficial. He continued to reiterate their point of view and in desperation I said,

“Do you understand why I suggested this deal?”

He looked at me surprised and a little bemused. I took him by the sleeve and said,

“Ok you are now Makofia (my local name which means the ‘hatted one’)and I am Nagole”. I drew him to where I was standing and I went and stood where he had been standing.



“Ok I said why do you want to do this deal?”

“I don’t,” he said. “You came to me first.”

“No,” I said. “You are me and I am you. So you have to tell me why I wanted to exchange this piece of land.” He looked bemused again but I persisted thinking that the penny would drop very shortly if I could convincingly play out my/his part.

“So Makofia, why do you want to exchange this land that you bought off me? Do you think that it is no good?” I said.

He laughed and said,

“I don’t know you bought it off me and it was alright then.”

“No, no”, I said. “I am Nagole.” At which point he roared with laughter.

In desperation I noticed he was wearing a most ridiculous woolly hat so I stepped forward and took it off his head and replaced it with my Aukubra and put his multi coloured woolly on my head. He looked startled and then stared at me quizzically for a moment. I let the full import of what I had done sink in and started again.



“Ok Makofia,” I said. “Why do you want to swap this piece of land that you bought off me last year?”

He paused and I could see that something was going on inside and he was imperceptibly readjusting his perspective. Then he answered slowly,

“Because your cows and sheep keep coming onto my land and eating my crops.”

“Yes,” I cried triumphantly, throwing my arms in the air. “That’s why I want to swap the land. Why can’t you get them to agree to it?”

“They are young and want money”, he said. “But I will go back and talk with them.”

“Ok then I will wait for you to come back to me, now give me back my hat.”

“Oh no, you gave it to me. I want to keep it.” He dodged my outstretched hand.

“What! No way,” I laughed. “Here you take your woolly hat,” and I lunged at him and grabbed my hat off his head as he moved to run off.

We laughed and bade each other farewell.

“What a cheek,” I thought to myself. “He was trying to play me all along!”